Monday, September 07, 2009

Prediction: Pain

I figured since I am both a) a BOSS and b) a Champion, I would not need any sort of Western medicine following the surgery to repair my ACL.

Then I felt like every chick that says she wants a natural childbirth until the pain is too great.

I went in for my surgery on Friday. I didn't really tell many people that I bumped it up to the 4th because I didn't and don't really want a lot of people emailing/texting/calling me with bullshit about how things are going to get better. I'm fully aware of what I need to do to get better and I will do it, again because of a) and b) up top. I've unfortunately been in a similar position a few years ago and while it took me 2 years, I did get back into shape.

The surgery went well; they pulled out my fully torn ACL and replaced it with a donor ligament. I'd like to think it's from DJ AM or maybe Michael Jackson. They also had to fix up my meniscus, which they found was also torn. When I came out of the twilight anaesthesia I was in severe pain. I couldn't feel my leg because of the nerve block, but I could feel the pain. I sucked it up and took the Oxycodone. They didn't have crutches my size at the surgery center so I got wheeled out to the car and hopped in using my good leg. I have an enormous immobilizing brace on my leg. In this brace are ice packs that surround my knee, and they connect to a cooler that plugs into the wall. In turn, ice cold water circulates around my leg. It's kind of cool.

Friday was a tough day. I was taking my pills every 4 hours, and they would wear out after 2 so I would just writhe in pain for 2 hours. I also have a pain pump connected to me, and can hit the button to deliver more pain medicine. I waited until later in the day but finally had to hit it a few times. You can only hit it once per hour. Through the night Friday I was up once per hour having to call my dad to help me get to the bathroom or deliver more medicine.

Saturday, still hurting. Fortunately we had the start of college football so my brother and I watched 12 hours of games - at one point we were flipping between 5 channels of simultaneous games. Late in the day I had a couple of visitors in Vic, Pereless and Caitlin. Like the 3 wise men, they came bearing gifts. Vic brought a Lipton Iced Tea (sweetened), P brought a Slurpee and Caitlin, like the wise man who brought gold, brought me a Star magazine. These are the elements of every Skeetfest weekend.

Saturday night I slept a little better. Only woke up a few times. Very uncomfortable to sleep as I can't make even a slight move. But I woke up on Sunday feeling considerably better.

I also woke up and now that the numbness is wearing off, I can feel my knee a lot more. This was not very awesome. My visitor today was Alyssa, who stopped by after her friend's wedding which was not far from where I live. She loaded me into the car and took me into Red Bank, and then we drove down along the beach and went to 7-11. It's the next best thing to actually going to the beach. The only problem is that we saw tons of guidos and DBs, most probably from NY or north Jersey.

After being out of the house for a few hours I was not feeling very good and had to return. I only took two of my pills all day yesterday though, so that was a minor accomplishment. The highlight of my day was watching I Love You, Man - which was really quite good.

Last night I "slept" through the night, which really means I didn't have to go to the bathroom or call my dad for medicine or help or anything.

I really underestimated just how painful a surgery this was going to be. I have not showered since Friday morning. I feel gross and lazy. I should have shaved before going in, but I had to be there at 6 on Friday morning and just didn't do it. The worst part was my worst fear coming true on Friday - I had a hot nurse. She was rocked up, but she was still absurdly hot. She was really tan but I figured it was just her general skin tone. My parents made a comment to her about being tan and allegedly she said that I was pretty tan myself. YEAH BOYEEE.

Hopefully she did not see my unit and laugh or anything. The nerves were blocked, it wasn't functioning!

Today I feel alright. Generally annoyed that I have to sit in a reclining chair all day but that should only be a few more days. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and then a physical therapy starts as well. I'm not sure what I can even do, it may literally just be me taking my brace off. Hopefully I can take a shower.


fbg said...

Can you save up your hourly "pain pump" button presses, and use them all at once?

By the way, isn't the pain pump outdated? I mean, they've invented something called the Pain Train. I can tell you all about it.

KLIM said...

Nurse pics?

RM said...

Jake - no phones in surgery so I couldn't snap any of my traditionally shitty BlackBerry phone pictures. There were actually two hot nurses there, one was helping me and the other was a tall skinny blonde and probably tried to sneak a peek at my junk.

BG - The Pain Train? I'm sure that's got to be from something, otherwise that sounds like something Euro and a little on the fluffy side!

///MM said...

No link to your posts namesake? Ok, here:

///MM said...

No link to your posts namesake? Ok, here:

THE KRIS said...

reason #341 that running is awesome: pain over in 3 hours or less.