I've told a few people my resolutions for 2011 so far, and I think they've been met with a few raised eyebrows. On Monday's run, Tristram asked if I had any resolutions, such as, "to run more." I said that running-related resolutions are silly. We always want to run more, generally, I'm only able to run so much, and I am probably running (right now) as much as I can handle anyway.
So instead, here's how I answered him:
Be More Selfish
This is pretty simple. I need to worry about myself more. I get too caught up in other things, and have not done what I need to do for myself. Sounds selfish. Because it is.
Do Less For Others
I do a lot for other people. I don't usually mind it, because if I didn't want to do it, I probably wouldn't. But, I think I'm stretched too thin. I'm feeling particularly overwhelmed lately, with a few other things going on, so I'm going to do less for others and try and do more for myself. I've found lately that I'm not being invited to things, which is annoying when I've opened my doors and made my events public for years.
Maintain Fewer Friends
I realize I have a lot of friends. I do a good job keeping up with them. I try not to ask them for much. I have lived in my neighborhood for 5.5 years, and in that time I can remember only a few instances people have come to hang out without me throwing some kind of event. I think I need to go into winter hibernation. I can't help making friends, but I need to be realistic. You want to hang out, you know how to get in touch. (note: I'm not saying I'm becoming a hermit, or that I'm just stopping being friends with people like someone else I know)
Use Phone Less/Be Less Accessible
I realize I just said you know how to get in touch with me, but my next resolution is to use my phone less. I plan on taking longer to respond to non-urgent emails, and not bring my phone with me as much.
Not because it's the green thing to do. I have driven all over creation to hang out, bring people places, drive to races, whatever (side note: the reason I drive so much is because I know I'm the most competent driver, and don't like not having the control of deciding when to leave, etc). But I drive a lot. 20,000 miles in the last year, and I haven't even been driving to a workplace everyday! I reckon, by my most conservative estimate, I have driven at least 300,000 miles in the 12 years of licensed driving. Probably more. There were 5 years in there I was driving 40-50,000 miles for work.
But they're not all curmudgeonly resolutions...
I want to help others be more assertive and get shit done on their own, without me. Since I've been hurt, I've seen a lot more of that, and it's good. I won't be around forever, and I'd like to ensure the legacy of Baltimore Running, in particularl TWSS, lives on.
Go More Places By Myself
As long as I can remember, I've been poppin my collar. Psyche, just kidding. I'm very independent. My idea of vacation is going somewhere by yourself. I've done it a bunch of times. Sometimes I've traveled with a person (Tom Stott), sometimes I've gone by myself to visit friends in a place and then traveled around solo after that. I really don't mind, in fact I find it liberating. It gets boring, but it calms me down. In the past few years, due to a variety of circumstances, I have gotten away from it. I need to bring it back. Especially with a 30th birthday on the horizon (still many, many months away), I may need a special rmcgrath trip.
Be More Positive
I want to get rid of all negative energy and just B +. I think this will help me get more of my own shit taken care of. If you bring negative energy around me, I'm going to excuse myself, as I am going to try to not let it bring me down.
So those are among my 2011 resolutions, it may sound absurd but that's really what I think about. If this is the most dick post you've ever read, please, let me hear it.