3...2...1

A quick glance of the bib numbers and I see that I have been given 321. Last year I was 267. I did not like the number 267, there was no rhythm to it, no flow. Every five years I guess my number will go up considerably as they must do it by age group. Regardless, 321 I like. And I'll tell you why.

I've been vibing on the number 21 lately. I have put in exactly 21 weeks of training since I started back up in June. I did the math the other day and found out that, over those 21 weeks, I've averaged precisely 21 HOURS PER WEEK. How insane is that? 21 hpw x 21 weeks = a lot. I remember being in college and I'd have a few weeks over 20, but then I'd always have an 8 or a 9 hour week from time to time, and most weeks were considerably less. Obviously I was training for shorter races, and I was trying to be fast, but realistically I'm faster on a bike now and I'm not really a whole lot slower than I was back then (at least in triathlons, open races much slower).

So then I'm explaining how this number keeps popping up when Erin Feldhausen [amended] goes, "aren't you racing ON the 21st?" Holy crap, I am. November 21st. I am loving this flow. All good things. The merry-go-round, it goes up and down and AROUND. Harness good block bad.

In an attempt to honestly examine myself, given the factors I faced, I wouldn't change the way I trained. My concern was, from the beginning, my knee holding up under the duress of a 10 hour race. Most of all, that it would physically be able to make it through 26.2 miles of running. My months were structured around building up my volume to a level acceptable and reasonable to be able to complete an ironman. In the pool, this volume was reached at the 100k mark in July. I realized that whether I was swimming 50k per month or 100k, I was likely going to swim the same time. I had the 4 biggest months I've ever put in on the bike, so I don't think I could have ridden more, but I think at some point I should have transitioned to some harder rides. I didn't really do a ton of efforts. Then I thought about it - I did everything the same as I used to do, and I used to ride pretty well. That's not to say I think I can go in and have the same results; I'm not the same athlete I was last year. But, I think that with my ability to race a bike being pretty good, I'll do okay with the volume-based system. I don't anticipate riding at the same effort level I would normally do in a half or less, so it's better I don't even get that in my head.

Running came along slowly at first, but soundly. Each run provided me the opportunity to say "this was the fastest I've run since x/xx/xxxx" or "this was the longest I've run since Boston 2009."

The phrase "body of work" is one that pops up a lot during March to describe NCAA Tournament teams. Well, I am honestly proud of my body of work. From doing literally nothing to being in ironman shape in 4 months is pretty impressive, and I realize that. I also know how hard I had to work to do it. In July, there was absolutely no way I was going to do it. In August, it was still less-than-likely. By September it became more realistic and then after the half in October it was time to pull the trigger. It's hard to believe it's been 5 weeks since that race. I've made big improvements in just those 5 weeks even.

But now isn't really the time to pat myself on the back or give myself some attaboys. The job isn't done. Last year I had a goal, and it was ambitious. I've always said I don't need to do a race just to finish, because I'm not that type of competitor. I could have gotten myself into shape to be able to "just finish" this race, but what would have been the point? If I'm going to do that much work, I may as well make it count, right? Go out and compete. If your body doesn't cooperate, then so be it. I go into this race with a goal that may be slightly amended from last year, which is more a function of not having my bike to ride, and not having done any races I use as benchmarks.

I guess the thing I'm overlooking is that this is a long race, and I've never done anything longer than a half. Like I give a shit. All I do is suffer, this will be no different. If anything, I've taught myself to endure fatigue this season. I rode maybe 50 miles of my 950 mile October with people. I ran all by one of my bricks solo. I've gone out and suffered in the cold, the dark and, more than anything, the wind (that was part of why my harder bike efforts didn't happen, I was working hard but not going anywhere!). It's not like I'm hoping to crash and burn, I certainly could do without having to walk a marathon, but I also realize that I will always, always make it to the finish line. Even if I have to walk.

I put in my last couple of big workouts over the last few days. Following the 20 mile run, I ran again on Thursday, just an easy 4 with Ed. I felt a little sluggish, but I anticipated that. I originally thought I'd get out Wednesday for my last "long" ride, then I pushed to Thursday, but stuff came up so I held off until Friday. Instead on Thursday I rode for a few hours around the county with Brennan's sister Erin. Friday came and it was time to get out for one more 85 miler. I swam in the morning and got out onto the bike just a little late - 12:40. The ride normally takes 4:45, and with a quick stop in the middle + traffic lights and stuff I figured I'd get back around 5:40. So I knew I'd be riding close to 40 minutes in the dark. I was riding decently quick, not blazing, but it was just taking forever. Too many stops at red lights I guess. By the time I made it through Loch Raven, it was getting dark, and when I made it over to Joppa Rd it also dropped 10 degrees. I started to bonk a little, and suffered up Bellemore in the dark. Scarfed a Gu, felt a little better, and then made it home. Ride time was 4:45 on the nose, but it was 6pm. I don't know how that happened.

Saturday I ran 10 miles in the morning with Kris, my legs were a little tired and the route didn't help at first. 6ish miles uphill to Gilman. I love that run normally, but man, legs were tired. Kept the effort real chill, and then had some benefit of longer downhills on the way home. That was good for opening up the stride a bit and by the end I felt better. Saturday afternoon went to the Navy game and that was pretty awesome. Also the Terps rammed UVA in the 2-hole pretty hard, so that was good.

Sunday was my last little attempt at a workout. I figured a week out was plenty of time to be able to handle this longer type of day, especially since I kept the effort down. I mostly needed to make sure I could ride Pat's bike and that it fit okay. I made a few adjustments and got going around noon. It was weird to be on a TT bike again, as it's been 16 months now since I last rode one. I also never rode the bike on any of my normal routes, as it's quite dangerous. I rode out 40 and then hopped onto Mountain Rd. I was able to do a few long stretches in the bars on that road, but then on 165 the shoulder is non-existent and the cars were flying by, so with the crosswind and sun blaring in the face I sat up. Rode for about 3:15, felt good when I got back, and jumped in the pool. Did a 3000m straight swim, picking it up each 500m or so. I worked down to just under 1:40s by the end, and finished the swim in 51:40.

With the pool done, it was time to run a little. It was awesome out, great temperature (no shirt weather in mid November is always awesome), and it was dark. So I ran my usual 6 mile loop, and was running comfortably. With a mile to go I picked it up a bit and finished up with just over 5 hours on the day. Then it was time to consume mass quantities at Panera.

Now it's all done. Can't believe the week is here. I'm excited, and definitely nervous. I think I'll feel a lot better on Sunday night.

Don't Tell Me What I Can't Do ~ John Locke

141

There we have it, folks, after 141 days of continued physical activity, I did actually take a day completely off. I have felt quite good over these last 20 weeks. 20 weeks, man, that's a lot. 5 months. Almost half a year. Obviously there are plenty of people who have streaks much, much, much longer, but for me to go that long (twss) is pretty cool. And it all started with one Get Tough Week.

The reason behind the streak, as I've mentioned, is because I felt like there was no reason I couldn't, or shouldn't, be doing something every day. Certainly there were days I took easy, following my Minimum Standards of Excellence Guidelines (30min/4mi run; 1500m/30min swim; 60min ride). But now that I'm within two weeks, I felt less was going to be more.

As I passed the 100 day mark, I got it in my head that I wanted to hit an even number. Then I passed 120 and thought, "140 would be cool, as the Ironman is 140.6 miles" - so for good measure I did 141. In reality, I could have kept going and been fine, but again, what was the point of another easy swim on the day I wanted to take off?

After my big Halloween weekend, I needed some rest, so I took it easy most of last week. No doubles. Just one activity per day. Short swims. Not much running. Only rode once following Sunday the 31st and that was Saturday the 6th. Volume was just over 11 hours - the lowest I've had since I started training again back in June (even that first week was 14 hours). I figure that was good enough to restore some snap to my legs. For the final two weeks, I was trying to focus on one last solid workout in each discipline. Last Thursday was the swim. I realized one big difference between last year and this year was that I haven't done any long, straight swims. Last year I was building up each week until I got up to 3000 or 3200m or something. This year I wasn't worrying about it. I felt good about the swims I've been doing, I can't even count how many days were 5000m or more, and the recovery is always short so the workouts are almost continuous. Anyway for my workout last Thursday I was looking to do 3x1000m, but as I got rolling I felt pretty awesome. I decided mid-interval I would do 2x1500m, but as I approached the 1500m mark, I thought maybe I'd do 2x1900m.

I swam super comfortably on the first one, picking it up along the way, and finishing in 32:30. As I figure the wetsuit spots me close to 2.5 minutes over that same distance, I felt good about it. After a short break, I got rolling on the second one. I was trying to go quicker on this one, and I did. By 1000m, the pace was getting tougher. I held on to finish at 31:25, although the effort was slightly greater than IM effort. A solid 3800m set.

Over the weekend, a few friends rolled into town to celebrate Kootman's bachelor party. This meant I had time for just my ride on Saturday morning, and Sunday would be determined by a) what time everyone left and b) how hard of a night Saturday was. A + B = only ran 6 miles on Sunday night, very slowly.

As I've been meaning to get in a long run for a while (long being more than the 17 miles I did a few weeks ago), my options had been limited to Monday or Tuesday. At this point I needed as much recovery as possible, not knowing how my body would handle the long run. I set out around 5:15pm on Monday night for my 6 mile loop, got back to the house, downed a Gu and some water, and headed back out to swing by Pat's and head to Fed Hill. I wager I was running right around 7's, and when we hooked up with FHR, there were parts that were definitely well under that. A little under 16 miles in, we now headed back home. Ran a little quicker home than we did there (interesting as it's downhill there, uphill home) and then tacked on a few more minutes to make sure I was at 20 miles. Good job, me. And thanks Pat for running 13+ with me.

Not to skate over this little achievement, this is the longest I've run since Boston 2009. Of course, almost every long run was the "longest since...", but this one was a big run. Hard to believe it's been 19 months since I've run 20 miles.

As a result of the long run, my knee was definitely tender. Tuesday wound up being the day off. Wednesday I woke up and felt better, and after my PT session I was much looser. I just have one more "long" ride, which I intend to get in on Friday. My body seems to handle the long rides much better, and by that I mean a 4-5 hour ride just takes a lot less out of me than most runs over 13. Following the long ride, it will be time to check myself before I wreck myself. I'll probably put myself on a self-imposed media blackout. Rest is the name of the game. My body is feeling good, but I'm always concerned with picking up a random illness right before big events. For an Olympic it's not a big deal, it's a 2 hour race. But for Ironman, I can't even imagine how tough it's got to be competing not at 100%.

The Lonesome Dove

Also known as, October, Part Deux.

One of my flaws (I have many, this is just one) in the past has always been I do not like training like a "triathlete." Sure, I run, ride and swim, the key components of training and racing A triathlon, but it doesn't mean you are training FOR triathlons.

Coming up as a not-really-that-good runner, I was used to running. I know how much my body can handle, I know workouts I need to do, I know what types of races will come from the fitness I'm in. When I began swimming in college, I was at first doing it as cross training on days off from practice, then as I started transitioning to tri-training, I began swimming with the Multisport Club at Maryland. A few were decent swimmers, and led us through some workouts. The final piece, cycling, came by following Tri Guy Tommy around PG County and DC.

Over the years I evolved, and especially when I moved to Baltimore. Due to a different accident, I had taken a few years out of the multisport game, so I hadn't swam in close to 3 years. I still hated swimming and did only the bare minimum that I could compete in Olympic distance races. I was running like a runner, and I was riding with other cyclists. I rarely did any "triathlon specific" workouts, such as, for lack of any other term, brick workouts, and most days I was only training in one discipline. I was relatively fit, but my speed was still an asset because I could generate a fair amount of power on the bike, and I was running well. Fine for a 2 hour race, not enough for anything longer.

Fast-forward to 2008, when I first attempted the half distance. I had been doing triathlons for 8 years at this point, but never anything longer than an Olympic. I was getting in long rides, and doing longer workouts, but there was still a disconnect. I very rarely did bricks, in fact, if I went back through my training log I'm sure it was once every blue moon followed by whatever racing I did. I was committed to changing that for 2009, and while I started to, obviously that came to a quick end in July.

For the first half of this year, I clearly had little to no structure in my training. It was more like do whatever you're able to do, whenever you feel like doing it. When the notion that I could race again came about, though, I knew I had one chance to get it right. In normal years, I spend a large part of my time focusing on running, for a number of reasons:

1. I enjoy running
2. My friends run, and most of our group activities are runs
3. It's easier for me to do that in the winter
4. There are more running races I can and like to do than there are triathlons

In 2008 I raced 27 times. 1 bike race, 7 triathlons and 19 road races. In 2009 I had done 7 running races and 3 triathlons by the time I got hurt, but I probably wouldn't have done more than 12 total running races and the number of triathlons would have numbered 7 or 8. I was starting to bridge the gap, so it only made sense that I also made an effort to train for the events that were important to me.

So enter 2010. One thing this injury has left me, among other things, is slower. I am not as fast as I was. I'm using that to my advantage, for now. I liked doing running races because I was somewhat fast. It was this somewhat speed that also put me in the hole in a number of races, including triathlons. Because I wasn't doing smart, specific workouts, I didn't know how fast I should really be trying to run off the bike. Now, while I'm slower on paper, I've had some good runs off the bike this year because I'm running smarter. And, more importantly, I was doing the workouts I needed to do.

I wasn't able to physically run off the bike until sometime in late July or August, but once I was, I tried to include it more in workouts. They were short runs at first, 4 to 6 miles tops. Again, great for Olympics, not enough for anything longer. And after I made it through the two races in October, I knew I had about two weeks of intense, specific workouts to get ready for Arizona.

I've always been fine with doing workouts on my own. Throughout most of college, I only trained with two people - Tri Guy Tommy, and Tom Stott. Running I've always been fine doing on my own, but I enjoy the social aspect of it (not to mention there's almost always someone who will run with you). Swimming was one of those things where even if I didn't want to do it, I'd just get it done. I didn't need someone around. The bike is kind of different. I have no problem riding on my own, and most years I'm not riding enough to really notice it - but this year was different. In the summer I had a steady stream of people to ride with. I didn't have to do any long ride (see: over 4 hours) by myself. And even if there isn't much talking going on, you're just not by yourself on far away roads. The summer rides were very, very hot, but there wasn't much wind. By late October, this was completely flipped. The days were now quite short, and the temperatures had come down. More than anything, our wind systems made it seem like we were constantly being hit by hurricanes. And it always seemed to be at its worst when I had to ride.

After all that fluff leading in, here are the 4 workouts that gave this post its title:

Sunday, October 17: I had gone to a wedding in Wisconsin on Friday with Melissa and Arjun. It was, to say the least, a traveling fiasco. I was trying to fly back in super early on Saturday to spectate the Baltimore Marathon and get out on my bike after, but I missed my flight and didn't get home until way later. I had gotten virtually no sleep and was exhausted when I got back. Sunday morning I was going to ride up to old TriSpeed (Timonium) where I would meet OJ, he would accompany me for the nearly 78 mile PA ride, and then I would ride home, where I would run off the bike. Due to a child-watching situation, he wasn't able to ride until 12:30. Then it became 1. So I left (for a near 7 hour ride) at 11:45am. 15 minutes later my phone rang - he couldn't meet me until 1:30. Shoot, I think that's just too late now, I need to get this in. I forged on by myself.

Leaving the city headed north is an awful way to start a ride. The first 10 miles feature traffic and traffic lights. It's also completely uphill. And as soon as I made it out past Oregon Ridge, I was also dealing with a gnarly wind in my face. I was already miserable and I was barely 2 hours into the ride. After Hampstead, I picked up a tailwind that pushed me to Leone Spring, where I stopped briefly for a quick refill. This was 3 hours into the ride (50mi) and it was nearly 3 o'clock. Then an amazing thing happened - I didn't so much as unclip from my pedals for the next 3h42m. That's right, I went from Leone Spring, blasted through my usual pit stop in Glen Rock, all up and down the hilly, exposed York Rd, into Hunt Valley, up Jerome Jay (at mile 90 this really hurts) and home through the city, without stopping at all.

I had done, in my opinion, a good job with my nutrition, so I didn't feel too cooked. It was, however, almost 7pm by the time I started my run. Heading out for 9 miles at 7pm isn't too bad normally, just after 115 miles on the bike it's a little tougher. My run down to the Square was a surprisingly quick 6:35 or something, so I just tried to keep it around that pace. I finished the run at 1:00:58, and was tired but pleased. I proceeded to eat an entire pizza.

Wednesday, October 20: Three days later, after a little recovery, I was back at it. This time for not as long of a ride, but still a long one. I didn't start until a little later than I should have, but I had a tailwind out Route 40 so I picked up some time. I was feeling good and powered through Rocks, hitting the gas station in just over 2 hours. The way I was moving I felt I might ride in 4h30m, which would have been good. But then Old Federal Hill Rd, the gauntlet of misery, reared its ugly head. The wind was now hitting me squarely on the chin, and my energy dropped. I was not excited to be out there, and just kept ticking the pedals over, knowing that each one was at least getting me closer to my destination. I had to text Pat from the road to let him know I'd be a few minutes late to run, and as I got home just after 6 (4h43m ride), I threw on my running shoes and ran down to meet Pat. I was already a few seconds quicker than Sunday's run, and having Pat to run with helped keep the pace honest and kept me from losing my mind. That run turned out to be a minute faster than Sunday's at 59:57. It was another 83mi/9mi day.

Saturday, October 23: This was the day I had been looking forward to. I was going to go out to Frederick, do my Five Hills of Frederick (53+ miles) ride, ride back to Baltimore, then run 9 miles again. At first I thought I had Pat as a lock for going out there, but then he had husbandly duties. Then I thought OJ would be able to ride, but he was a no-go. Shoot. It didn't look as if I'd even make it out there, because it hinged on getting out TO Frederick but not driving BACK to Baltimore. Fortune smiled upon me as Alyssa was going out there to run on the AT that day. I rode my bike and my things down to her house on Saturday (should I count the extra 3.5 miles of riding?) and we hit the rode just after 7:30am. It was...cold. I had arm warmers, leg warmers, booties, long gloves and my vest on. I figured it would warm up, but it was definitely starting off cold. I didn't have much to eat in my house so early in the ride I stopped at DD and housed a few donuts. Good fuel for the day to come. I don't know why, but the beginning of the ride I felt awesome. I thought I was riding pretty well up Hamburg (in hindsight I rode 20:30, but when I was out with OJ it was 19:43. I'll blame it on the cold). I was not feeling great up Harp, and it was a little windy at this point. It also was not warming up like I thought it would. Climb up to Greenbrier and everyone and their mother was hitting the AT, then descended into Boonsboro. There I picked up the slight breeze home, and made it to the top of South Mountain in just over 2h32m. I didn't think that was very good, and I was marginally disappointed.

Alyssa had parked her car here, so I was able to drop some stuff off. I took everything off before I reassessed and decided the arm warmers and vest would stay. I took off again and got rolling, and before I knew it I was at the top of the last climb with 5 miles to go, and I was at 2h57m. Where did that come from? I didn't think I'd ride faster than 3h15m, but the last 5 miles are super quick so I would surely be under 3h10m. I was inspired, so without crushing myself, I rode pretty quick, covering the last 5 miles in 10:34 and finishing up at 3:07:37. Only a few minutes slower than I rode with OJ, probably the 3rd fastest recorded time AND I was by myself - I don't think I've ever ridden the ride solo.

Since I still had about 59 miles to go, I just rolled right through Frederick and onto Liberty Rd. This road is evil. You'd think that it would be downhill all the way back to Baltimore but no, there is tons of climbing. You're either going up or down, but the downhills never seem steep enough for you to NOT pedal. It's also barren. As in, nothing to see, and very few places to stop. I had gone pretty far on just two water bottles (they had Gatorade in them) and since it wasn't very warm, I was doing okay. But my energy began to dip and I was struggling. Finally I made it to the 7-11 I normally stop at, after 4h45m of riding. I slammed a Coke, ate a cold taquito, poured some Gatorade in the bottle and kept a Snickers in reserve. I felt much better and got back on my way. I was getting closer to Wiggleville (Libertyville) and soon enough was back at Falls Rd with just 12 miles to go. It had finally warmed up a little, and I felt good as I made it home - 112 miles in 6h19m (3h12m home). For being on my own that was great, especially for half that ride taking place in Frederick.

Once again, it was time to run. It was 3pm, the sun was strong and the wind was whipping. I put on a hat but had to keep it backwards so it wouldn't blow off. 9 miles was the plan, and I hit the Square in 6:15. Way quick. Decided I would keep that effort going and whenever I hit the wall, I hit the wall. Fortunately for me, I didn't. I got back to the Square and ran 5:52 home, finishing my run at 57:21. Way faster than Wednesday and right about half Ironman effort.

I felt awesome that, within the span of 7 days, I had gotten in 3 long rides (two IM distance or more) and 3 great bricks. These were the types of workouts I should have been doing for years. In reality, though, I don't know that I could have done these workouts a few years ago. My pain threshold, physically and mentally, is greater now than it was then. Total saddle time was somewhere near 18 hours with another 3 hours of running - only 1 of which was with someone. That was a lot of alone time, and yes, it gets pretty boring. But I couldn't expect anyone was going to ride with me, since either seasons were over or the distances were longer than they needed to be riding.

I wasn't done, though, as the day after the Frederick ride, I woke up early to drive to College Park. One of my favorite runs is from College Park to DC. Depending on the route, you can make it anywhere from 9 to 13 miles just to get there, and then running around the Mall is always a fun way to add on some distance. This particular Sunday was the Army Ten Miler, and Cheese was racing. Pat and I left CP Metro Station just before 7am and headed down the Northwest Branch Trail. It was dark and quiet, which made for a nice trip as the sun came up. We got to the Capitol and were around 1h12m of running, so we still needed much more time. We ran along the 10 mile course prior to the runners arriving, and then watched for a few minutes as people we knew went by. It was a gorgeous morning to race or just run around DC. Continued the run down to Lincoln, then back up to the Washington, jumped in the race again, and then finished right at 2 hours at Smithsonian Metro Stop. I was calling it 17 miles, equaling my longest run and an capping a solid weekend. Bagel Place was a natural stop in CP on the way home, as it was a beautiful day. After I got home, Zero joined me for a 2 hour ride in the afternoon.

For that week, my volume was low in the swim at 8100 meters, but good on the bike and run, at 228 miles and 52 miles, respectively.

The following week, leading up to Halloween weekend, was going to be the last real big week I could put in. I wanted it to be big on the bike more than anything. I rode 50 on Wednesday and 60 on Thursday, both windy days, before setting up for Friday. Friday was going to be very hard. The plan was to go to Cambridge and ride on the Eagleman course. I was hoping to do a warmup on the bike, then hit the bike course hard, add on a little at the end, cooldown and then run 12 miles off the bike. In a perfect world, the sun would have been shining, it would have been around 70 degrees and wind would have been light. But the world is not perfect.

Friday October 29: I woke up Friday morning and heard the wind howling. That was here in Baltimore. I could only imagine what it was doing out on the Eastern Shore. It was also not warm. I debated just scratching it and saving it for another day, but I wasn't sure when I'd be able to, as I had Godsey in town until Tuesday. I had originally thought of doing it Saturday, but I didn't want to be gone for 10 hours on a Saturday while he was here.

After finally pulling the trigger, I hopped in the car and drove out to Cambridge. It was maybe just over 50 degrees now, and when I got out of the car at Great Marsh Park, the wind knocked me over. There was absolutely no way I could ride in this. But, I was already here, so I had to do SOMEthing. I put on all my clothes and started pedaling, barely staying upright. The Choptank was so rough you could have surfed the waves it was producing. Had there been a race that day, they would definitely have canceled it. I made it the 10 miles out to whatever road that is that takes you straight into the Wildlife Refuge. This is where I experienced the headwind. It was tough, and I know I wasn't going that fast. I was annoyed because I was not concerned about effort today, but rather speed. I wanted to know how fast I could ride. I got out onto the Refuge and picked up a tailwind for a while, which was nice, but short lived as soon I turned again and was getting nailed by a serious crosswind. That's the problem with strong directional winds - 3/4 of any ride you're getting crushed.

I made it to Dorchester High School (about mile 46) and sat down for a second. I pondered whether I could do another lap, or if I was better off going back in. DBAP, right? So I went back out. The wind was meaner, the air was colder and the sun was getting lower in the sky. I rode that lap just 3 minutes slower than the first one and finally was able to head in. I guess it was at least 92, but probably more like 93 or 94, and it took me a whopping 5h10m to complete. I fully expected it to be 4h30m. I returned to the car and it was 5:20pm. I unhappily put on my stuff to run and then thought about how I would do this. I felt like it was going to get pretty dark if I went out 6 and back 6, and those roads, while not heavily traveled, are very dark and there's only a narrow shoulder to run on. Other options were a series of out-and-backs, but that didn't seem enticing. I knew if I got back to within sight of my car I would stop.

I headed out and my first mile was a disappointing 7:10. It took me longer than usual to warm up, pedaling for 5 hours (I mean, pedaling the entire time, not once being able to freewheel) had taken it out of me. The wind was just as bad running. I hit mile 2 in the neighborhood and then mile 3 in that weird section and was at 21:04. Now onto the dangerous road. It was so boring and lonely out there. I felt like people driving by must have thought I was crazy, as you don't see anyone out there running normally. The long stretch to the turnaround was awful. I don't know how I do this when I race at Eagleman, it really is a terrible run. Anyway I made it to 6 at 41:50 something, so just under 7min pace.

Now I was heading back, and it was dark. I tried to quickly scurry off the main road to be in the protective confines of the neighborhood, and was surprised to see I was still only just running 6:58 pace. I thought I'd be faster for sure. With 2 miles to go now I had to eat a quarter mile straight into the wind - that was rough, but then I had it somewhat pushing me on the way home. I finished up at 1:23:34 for 12 miles, certainly not bad considering I didn't have food or drink for that period of time. It was almost 7pm and I had made it through this awful workout. Time to go home.

Saturday I rode an easy 50 miles, went out for Halloween (Saturday's costume was lazy, I was Jenn Sterger. So basically short shorts, tight shirt and a picture I drew of Brett Favre's weiner). Sunday we woke up, hit Patapsco for 12 miles, including a 6:55 mile up Gun Rd, which I was very psyched about, and then went out again for Halloween day. This time my costume was a little better, Zero and I were Will and Carlton from Fresh Prince, in their Apache dance costumes.

All in all, it had been a hard two weeks. That last big workout represented the 4th big brick, and was the longest I've ever run off the bike (outside of half ironman race) AND was the longest I've run off the longest I've ridden. This year I've now had 3 rides of 112 or more.

I still don't know if I'm really ready to race, but I've certainly done about all I can to prepare.

October, Part 1

September was a great month, and I had made sure I recorded training each of the 100 days of summer. The first two weekends of October were going to reintroduce racing, but feeling like I was crunched for time, I didn't plan on resting up for any of the races. First up was the inaugural Red Bank Triathlon, Sunday October 3rd. Before that, however, on the way up to Red Bank, I stopped in Newark, Delaware, to race the 3rd annual Main Street Mile. My love for Newark/UDel is obvious, so it was a natural stop. Cheese ran, finishing 3rd, and I ran, well, slower than I did on the track on Tuesday. I was tired, and racing that distance felt uncomfortable and unnatural. The last, and only other road mile I ran was back in 2008 in Bel Air. I ran 5:24. The Newark race was point-to-point along Main Street, featuring a slight incline at the start, then a dip/flattening out, before rising again slowly to the finish.

It was a little chilly in the morning, and there was a slight headwind on the course. The gun went off and within a hundred feet I was already back a hundred feet. On Tuesday, I had gone out at a reasonable pace and was able to negative split, but here, I went out just a second or two too hard. And, as Coach Milligan always used to say, go out a second too fast, come back a second too slow. Now, I have no idea over what distance he meant, but it was pretty apparent. 74ish first quarter, and I was redlined. 82 second quarter, which put me at 2:36 at the half. I figured 5:12 would have been sweet, but obviously I was not running that pace any longer. 3rd quarter was tough, running an awful 86 (4:02). I recovered just enough to have a final "kick" - but right before the finish two women blew right past me and I was deflated. 82 last quarter led to a...you guessed it...5:24.

After that I got in the car and headed home. I still needed to ride, and since the race the next day was short, I figured I could ride 50 miles and be okay. It was probably a little ambitious. It was windy and chilly, and I really should have stopped much sooner. Nevertheless, at least I got in some miles. I went down to packet pickup (the loosest sense of the term), and then got dinner with my brother and Vic at New Corner. My brother was racing his first ever multisport event on Sunday, by the way.

Sunday morning he and I woke up early and hopped on our bikes, opting to ride the mile and a half to transition (in the dark) rather than drive. It was not warm. At all. And it was super windy. So windy, in fact, that the normally calm Navesink River looked like the mighty waters of the North Atlantic. The boats were being tossed around and the race director made the decision to shorten the course. Instead of 750 yards, it was going to maybe be a quarter mile. Basically we were keeping close to the boats that were tied up, circling them, and getting out. It was a time trial start, so athletes hopped into the water one by one, with a second or two separating them. First three in were Tommy, Pat and then myself. The water was salty and warm, but so choppy you couldn't sight anything. After just a few minutes I was out of the water and sprinting into transition.

I saw Pat and Tommy fiddling around with arm warmers and getting onto their bikes. I didn't bother with arm warmers (poor decision) and got out onto the bike just after they did. Nobody had passed me in the swim, and I wound up with the 4th best swim, but still managed to lose a minute to Pat. On the bike it was very windy and the cold air did not feel good. My legs felt dead, I just couldn't get going. I could see Pat and Tommy ahead, and then around Sunnyside somebody passed me. Then as we got out into Holmdel, three more went by. This was not expected, or normal.

On the one hill of the course, I easily went past those 3 while seated. Man, if only there had been more hills! Coming back into Red Bank along W. Front and going by my house was cool, the course was basically the same hour ride route I've used for years (in reverse, actually, and it was that route that I was on when I got hit). I sat up before transition, and guessed I was in 6th going onto the run. I cruised up the short hill out of transition and onto W. Front. Seemed like everyone was pretty far ahead of me, and I wasn't sure if it would be possible to catch anyone on just a 5 mile run.

I suppose that would have been the case if I didn't set that course on fire. I felt incredible - maybe the best I've ever felt running off the bike. My first mile was 5:53 and it was like I was out for a tempo run. I saw Vic, said something humorous to him, then powered up into the neighborhood over the 35 bridge. Mile 2 split was 6:06. Hmm, well, not that bad, and I guess I would have been okay with settling in there. I had just passed one guy and was about to pass another. We were now in Bodman Park and did a little cross-country style out and back. Pat was now passing the leader (the first guy to go by me on the bike) and Tommy was in 3rd at 1:30 ahead of me with 2.5 to go. There was likely no way I could catch him unless he was having a terrible day, but I kept the pressure on. With a time trial start, you never know who started when.

Coming out of Bodman, my 3rd mile was 5:58 and then mile 4 was 5:57. I was back on the bridge with a mile to go, and that mile was mostly flat with a short little downhill into the finish. I gave my brother a high 5 as we passed each other at the Molly Pitcher, and kept tearing into the run. I felt awesome in that last mile, and sprinted into the finish, splitting 5:28 for my last mile and recording the fastest run of the day at 29:23. In all honesty, I wouldn't have believed I could have run that fast open right now, let alone off the bike. Pat was 29:36 and then everyone else was at least a minute back. I ultimately finished 4th, with Tommy in 3rd and Pat getting his first ever win. It was an awesome day. And my brother, with some trepidation about his swim, made it through, had a solid bike and a super fast run to finish up his first triathlon. This was also the first time, perhaps in any race, I've ever negative split. Awesome.

Despite the miserable weather, and the race, I went back out for another 30 mile ride later in the day. It was awful, but I had to do it.

The next week I was feeling it a bit after some really good efforts the previous week, particularly on the run. I took it relatively easy, not riding again until Thursday (68) and going pretty light in the pool and run. I once again filled up the car and headed home, this time for the Hunterdon Half Ironman. This race previously existed as Belly of the Beast, before my friend from high school, Mike Nusbaum, took over and renamed it. The location is in beautiful Hunterdon County, New Jersey, known for its challenging terrain. About a month or so earlier, Mike had emailed Pat and myself to see if we wanted to do either his Oxford Olympic or the Hunterdon race. I said the Hunterdon race fit perfectly for me, so he provided me entry into the event (thanks Mike!).

Of course, my original 10/10/10 plans were to be toeing the line at Chicago, but the more I thought about it, the less it made sense. I certainly could have made it through the race - I'm not above walking and I do not drop out of things. But I thought doing a half iron event would be more integral to knowing whether I could do an ironman. Plus, with the small field, it could be a great opportunity for me to place well. Once again I probably did a little more than I should have the day before, this time riding about 42 miles with Brian Shea. The weather was nice and the effort wasn't out of control, so I didn't mind, but I should have kept it to my original plan of 1h45m. Later in the day I ran 4 miles with my sister at Meadow Ridge. MR was a favorite of mine for tempo efforts, on its 8/10 of a mile dirt loop. This time I did not feel so great and was a little worried I was not going to feel good the next morning.

Driving up on Sunday I watched the temperature drop from mid 40s in Red Bank to a low of 34 degrees at the park. Yikes. I got set up in transition and Mike had awarded me #2. #1 went to Arland Macasieb, THE Filipino Pro. Mike was hoping for a good duel, and, as it turned out, he got what he wished for.

The water was the cleanest water I've ever swam in, obviously other than the Caribbean or GBR. It was a reservoir, so I'm not sure how we were allowed to swim in drinking water, but it tasted delicious. Water temp wasn't bad, but the air was, so I kept myself submerged until the gun went off. The course didn't seem too confusing on paper, but once we were out there, it was crazy. As we neared the first buoy, Arland made a move to the front and for the first time ever, I made a move (in swimming - I know!) and was sticking to his side. At one point I nearly went into some rocks that popped up, narrowly evading what would have been pretty painful. We came around another buoy and were now facing the sun. That made sighting very difficult, and as a result I went one way while Arland and a few others went another. I figured I was wrong, so I corrected myself and caught back up. Then a boat came over and told us we were going the wrong way. We corrected ourselves and headed to the other buoy. Arland went around it, so I naturally followed, and once again we found ourselves being redirected. Finally we were on course and there were three of us - a lady with no wetsuit, Arland and myself. For a brief second I contemplated trying to come around them to get out of the water first and record the fastest swim time, but it was too difficult and then I stumbled out of the water. Turned out the woman was a relay swimmer and former D-1 swimmer at JMU, so we won't count her. My swim split was 29:19 - a PR for the distance by a minute, and was 2nd best of the day.

Arland and I were racked next to each other so we exchanged some pleasantries while we put on some clothes. For me, it was just arm warmers and I was out of transition and onto the bike in first position. For Arland, it was nearly twice as long as my T1 as he put on leg warmers, arm warmers, a jacket, a balaclava (not really) and gloves and a jacket. He had a lot of stuff on. The bike began with a little climb out of the park, and as I was the only one on a road bike, I figured at some point I would get passed. I kept waiting for it and waiting for it, but it still wasn't happening. The course was very tough, a lot of climbing, and a lot of just not knowing where you were. The turns were well marked, but not having ridden the course ahead of time, I didn't know when to anticipate turns. The toughest part was on this highway that skirted along the Delaware River/PA border. I thought I heard the guy at the turn say we were on the road for 2 miles, so after 10 minutes I was becoming worried. Finally, after what must have been 7 miles, there was the turn - right into a mile and a half long climb.

I was keeping on my nutrition, and kept the effort reasonable. With no computer on the bike, or watch, for that matter, I had no idea how long I had been out. With 2 miles to go we had to reclimb back up to the park entrance (very tough) before descending into T2. It was at this point that I caught my first glimpse of another human being. Arland came screaming into T2 right behind me, and his transition was much quicker so we left onto the run stride for stride. Mike was going nuts. It was turning into the race he hoped for. Arland asked Mike what kind of runner I was, to which Mike replied "fast" - not really helping Mike!

The first mile was in the woods and thanks to warming up in there that morning I saw that it was really, really rocky. I didn't know how much of the course was going to be like that, so I still wore my flats. It was not a comfortable first mile, as there wasn't a trail so much as a bunch of rocks and a general direction. Arland had stopped to take a leak, so I was in the lead by about 30 seconds. We came out of the woods section (6:44 first mile) and onto asphalt. Phew. I now had the urge to drop some weight, so I stopped in the public bathroom that was there. I was very slow in my bathroom break, probably to the tune of 90 seconds, so my 8:01 2nd mile was likely closer to 6:30. Arland was now about a minute up. After my 3 there was a very steep downhill, which I basically hobbled down. Then it was rolling to the turnaround, where Arland asked if I had gotten misdirected. Nope, just bathroom break, I said. When we returned to the now big uphill, I slowly gained ground and caught up to him. We ran together from miles 5-8, chatting along the way about my accident, Baltimore Marathon and the previous day's Hawaii Ironman (which was sick). Then I let him know my downhill running was quite bad/painful, and for him not to worry about running with me.

Not long after I mentioned that, the downhill was back, and he took off. The 2nd trip down it hurt pretty bad, and I was hurting the remainder of the run. In the last 5 miles, Arland put nearly a minute a mile into me. At that point I was just trying to get to the end, and finished with a 1:33:03 run (3rd) and took 2nd place. I was actually pretty pleased with the run, as actual running time was 1:31:30, and on a tough course. I only ran 1:27:53 at PDR 3 weeks before. The point is that I'm running better off the bike than I do open, relatively. The total time for the event was 4:53:10 or something, my bike split was 2:46 high (2nd). I now felt pretty good about being able to make it through Arizona, and in my head made the decision to go. The 2nd place was my best triathlon finish ever, so even though it may not have been the biggest or most competitive race ever, I was psyched.

The week after Hunterdon was a pretty uneventful, standard week. Wanted to get my legs back under me before I did anything else. After all, the critical time was coming. I was now about 6 weeks out from race day, and would need to have two weeks of both high volume and solid intensity before I would be comfortable bringing it down.

Since this post has gone pretty long, I'll wait for another to highlight that two week period.

September

It's time for a little acceleration. I have a couple of more posts until I'm caught back up to the present.

Labor Day weekend is typically a last chance for me to get to LBI aka Kootman's house for a last weekend of fun. In years past, it would consist of a few of us. Now that some of them have babies, etc, it's a little different. And, unfortunately for me, I had to use that weekend for some big training. After all, you can't expect to do well in an Ironman and lose a few days by going to the beach!

I was looking for a big week/weekend and I got it. That first week of September I got in 23k in the pool, and 221 miles on the bike. To keep it somewhat balanced, I ran just about 34 miles. From Wednesday through Labor Day Monday, I rode 6 days, including Friday morning 2 hour ride + Patapsco hour run, and then headed to Frederick on Saturday with OJ. The plan was to get after it. Riding with OJ out there is sure to make it tough. I chased him up the hills all day, and ultimately finished up at 3:01:23 for the ride. It was the fastest I've ever ridden it by a few minutes, and OJ's ride time was just under 3 hours. We chased this with a 5 mile run, and all in all it was a good day of training. I was finding it easier to put away 3 disciplines in the same day now, getting into the pool for 3500m after getting back to Baltimore. Truthfully, one of the only reasons I was getting in the pool was because it was nice outside, and I wanted to hit the pool every day that weekend. I had been swimming outside all summer and accrued a tremendous speedo tan, so I was going to keep working on that until the pool went back inside.

That Sunday was a 67 mile ride, easy 2k in the pool and then a chill 7 mile run at Robert E Lee Park. Had to "rest up" before Monday. The prescribed workout that day was a morning 60 mile ride with Pat. After about an hour we hit some hard sections of 5-10-15-10-5 (minutes) with about 5 minutes in between each. By the time we got to Roland Park and were a few miles from home, I was cooked. Didn't feel like riding anymore, just tired. We still had to run, too. We headed out for our 6 mile loop and made it down to the Square in 6:10 or something. We decided to push the pace until 18 minutes, then chilled out for a bit, then picked it up for the last 9.

After the good block, I was going to take it easy for a few days. Had a good 40 mile ride with OJ on Wednesday, but then started feeling a little sick. I blamed this on Ed, as he had the croup or the whooping cough or something. When he gets sick, he gets SICK. His cough lingered for weeks, and despite my normally insane immune system, even I get weakened when I'm on that line of hard training. I was a little disheartened, because I was hoping to race Lancaster Triathlon on Saturday. I was feeling good about my swim, and since I've only ever ridden my road bike there, I figured I'd ride about the same as normal. Running was going well, and in general I just felt like it would have been a good race.

However, the sickness wouldn't have been the only thing stopping me from competing. In all the years I've done that race, I've always signed up day of. One of the nicest things about that race. Except I found out the day before that they were no longer doing race day registration, and that the race had apparently closed 6 weeks prior online. WTF? This is Lancaster. Not Columbia. Stupid. It was a really nice day, too. So then I thought maybe I'd jump up to Delaware Diamondman on Sunday, as they did offer race day registration, but when I woke up Sunday I still felt under the weather and it was also pretty shitty out. Saturday, despite feeling ill, I made it out for 64 miles with Pat and OJ. It did not go well for me. Then ran at Robert E Lee for another 7. Sunday, the sickness took me out, and I just made it out for a short 6 miles.

I started feeling a little better, and managed a good TNT workout that next week, before getting out on Wednesday for the Rocks 83 mile ride. Despite rain for 3.5 hours of my day, I rode pretty well. And because I left real late, I didn't get home until late, so it was dark. The long days by myself were good because I could control my efforts a lot better, but they were also pretty boring. I was planning on banditing Philly Distance Run that Sunday, but it didn't stop me from running 11 at Patapsco with Kris on Friday. My parents and brother came down for the Orioles vs Yankees that night, and then I got up early Saturday to squeeze in a 4 hour ride before heading up to Philly. It's one of my favorite trips of the year, and this one did not disappoint.

Sunday started off a lot warmer than we expected. I warmed up with Melissa, who was doing a marathon pace run inside of the race. We did about 3 prior to the start, and then I did another 1 after to make it 17. I think she did 20. I started off and felt like I was running low 6, but was disappointed when I saw I was at 6:22. I kept the first 4 within a few second range, running with Matt Castille, but by 4.5 I was pretty much done. It was no longer comfortable, and I considered stopping. I wanted to get in some miles, though, so I continued on at a slower pace. I was no running closer to 7's, and didn't want to have any miles OVER 7, so as each last 100 or 200 would approach, I would run fast enough to sneak under 7 then slow down. Stupid, I know, but I didn't really care. I didn't like the reversed course, and I didn't like the loudness of the music on course. I finished up just under 1:28. Far off where I thought I could run, but I wasn't going to concern myself with it. After we got back to Baltimore (it was now real warm), I still had to ride.

I had to go up to NJ the next day for a doc visit, which I was not psyched about because I had driven to Philly twice in the past week and just didn't feel like being in the car anymore. One Philly trip was, of course, to PDR, but the other, a few days earlier, was to the Lady Gaga concert. That was pretty awesome.

Thursday came and the temps were still kicking in over 90 degrees. I hadn't gotten out for a real long ride in a while, so I decided that would be the day. I rode up to OJ's, where I met him for a 50 mile ride. I was not prepared for the weather, or something, because I was getting crushed from early on. The 3 hours of riding with OJ felt real twice as long. Then I had to ride home still. It was rough. 101 miles I think but it took me over 6 hours. That's what Cockeysville and north county rides will do to you. The next few days of the weekend were going to be another big push as I was racing the next two weeks.

Hit Patapsco on Friday with Kris, running 2 minutes faster than last week, and then Saturday rode with Pat. It was 95 degrees when we started at 11:30 though, and Pat was having a rough day after 2 hours. It wound up taking quite a while to make it through the 85 miles, so I got home late. That meant getting into the pool late, so doing just a short swim before it closed. Then I still had to run. It was a real good training day, and it was really nice by the time I went to run. The WineFest was going on in the Square, so Canton was packed. Sunday I almost welcomed the rain as it kept me from riding. Pat joined me for a long run out to the Fort and back. Neither of us felt great, but we got it done.

My brain just keeps thinking "one more day, one more day." I keep saying I'll start taking it easy. But I just kept feeling good, and by now I was freaking out about the two months I had before Arizona. I wasn't going to make a final decision on whether I would race until after the half Ironman I was going to do on 10/10. So I absolutely had to be prepared for that race.

Last week of September, and it was time for a good track workout. We were doing 1600 hard, 3200 tempo, 1600 hard. It was a small group, but a great night for track. Originally I thought that 5:30, 12:00, 5:40 would be reasonable times for me. Once we got going, in the dark, I felt great. We negative split our first 1600 and ran 5:19. Then we perfectly evenly split the 3200 at 11:33. Wow. I was feeling pretty good still, but I knew the last interval would be tough. I ran with Prada and Elijah and we were moving well, again negative splitting, and I finished in 5:22. It was a great workout and now I was feeling pretty confident about the weekend ahead.

The next day I got out for a 77 mile ride, and was riding decent despite the wind and getting rained on again. That last day of September I made sure I got out for a run, so was just going to go do 6. But then Chris Nowakowski ran into me and we got to chatting. It had rained all day so the Harbor was really flooded, but it was nice out while we were running and we got in 8 for the day. Not bad!

September ended up as another big month. Not only did I record big volume, but I started mixing in some real efforts, and brought my long runs up again. I finished with 75000m in the pool and 885 miles on the bike, and a "whopping" 159 miles of running. By hours, the weeks were 24, 20.5, 21.17, 21.75 and 20.75.

I had some races coming up and was feeling ready to go. September, always a good month for me. Next up, my return to racing, the month that was October and finally making a decision about Arizona.

August

Writing this now makes it seem like summer was a lifetime ago, and in the scheme of miles and hours, it really was. The four weeks of July, in hours, were 22, 22.75, 20.50 and 27.33. I accomplished my goal of re-establishing some routines. The bike rides were going okay, the runs were coming along slowly. TCYB (Team Crush Young Butts) had planned on going to Set Up Events' Luray Triathlon in the middle of August. The original thought was to do the double (Olympic on Saturday, Sprint on Sunday) but after 14 months without racing or knowing how my knee would hold up, I decided one race would be enough. Right at the end of July I signed up for the race on August 14th.

Following the 270 mile bike week (not to mention 26km of swimming) to finish Get Tough Month, I figured the first week of August would be a down week, after all, I had certainly earned it. I took it easy in the pool, and didn't do anything significant until the weekend. That weekend I headed home for the wedding of a high school friend, so I took the opportunity to get in a run at Hartshorne. I knew going into it that I was taking a chance doing that. First, I hadn't really run on trails yet, and these are some of the hardest around. It's also where I broke my ankle back in 2003. Second, I had just run a 9 mile run two weeks prior, so it was going to be my longest run (by a good amount), however most of my runs were under 7.

I showed up to Hartshorne ahead of the Middletown South XC team's practice, got in 3, then ran about 7.5 with the kids. It felt great to run at Hartshorne, and even better to not get hurt. I went for a short ride after that, and then Sunday went out for a longer ride (62mi). While I have had to go home many, many times in the past year and a half, now that I could train again it was not as bad of a trip. More importantly, I now felt as if I'd be able to get through the race, which was the following weekend.

That next week started pretty normal, taking my usual fairly easy Monday and Tuesday before picking it back up on Wednesday. At PT that day, however, Brett really cranked on my knee. I didn't notice it during, but as soon as I tried to pedal my bike that evening, well, the pain was obvious. I could barely pedal. I kept hoping it would loosen up but no luck. I remember we did the Gunpowder loop in reverse, and I was just way off the back of Pat and Alyssa. I didn't want to hold them up, but I was going nowhere. I eventually limped home. The next few days were rough. It hurt to swim. It hurt to run. I figured it didn't even make sense to try to ride. As of Friday night, the evening before the race, I was not sure I'd even do it.

I called up Brett and asked him what I should do as a quick fix. I took an Aleve that night - something I try to avoid - and iced it, massaged it a little. Saturday morning we got up and headed to the race, and during my warmup run I felt awesome. I felt fresh, bouncy and relaxed. Figured what the heck, if it's too painful to race, I'll find out during the race. The swim was a non-wetsuit swim and turned out to be the most aggressive start outside of IM that I've ever seen. I figured I was in the top 10 out of the water, maybe as high as 7. I was psyched. I ran into transition and saw Pat (we were racked next to each other). I thought that was a good swim if I'm that close to Pat - but turned out he just had a really, really slow T1. He actually put 1:40 into me in the water. Yikes.

Onto the bike and there is a significant climb a quarter mile into the ride. I spun up in an easy gear to avoid the pounding on my knee. Passed one or two people on that hill, and then was moving well. I passed Pat shortly after. Then a few dudes, including Dirk, went flying by. It was tremendously windy on the course, and I felt like I was losing time on downhills and flats by being on my road bike. I thought I was in somewhere between 6th and 8th coming into transition, not including any of the next wave (40+) that may have made up the gap. I felt awesome heading out onto the run and really felt good competing again.

My first mile was around 6:20. Considering I hadn't been running under 7 at all on any of my runs, I didn't expect to run better than 7's off the bike. I figured if I felt good, I should just keep going until I didn't. No point holding back. Next mile was 6:19. Then 6:22. I was keeping that pace and on the 2nd loop caught two guys. I wound up running a 39:49 10k, which was a huge surprise, and finished 11th overall. In 2008 I also finished 11th, although my time was a little faster back then (swim this year was slower, as was the bike. 2008 my run was only 39:12 I think).

I was very pleased with the result, as it surpassed my expectations. Of course, David Glover and the Set Up Events crew put on a great race at a great venue, and it was a fun weekend with Team CYB (Alyssa, Pat, Zero) in Luray. My takeaways from the race were: 1) While I swam a little slower than I thought I could, I still had the 19th fastest swim. 2) My bike split, conducted on my road bike, was 17th fastest, and shows I still know how to race any kind of bike. 3) Your body remembers how to race. So even though I didn't think I'd run very fast, once I was in the moment, it just turned itself on.

My knee had held up through the race, and generally started to feel better. I ran 12 miles with Zero when we got back to Baltimore that Sunday night, again recording a "longest run since...". Because I felt like the week before was a little too light on the bike (just rode 58 miles on two rides, including the race), I picked it back up that following week, riding about 225. That included another Rocks 98 mile ride with Alyssa as what would be her last real long ride before Wisconsin, and then following it up with 54 on Sunday out in Frederick with Z and Alyssa. Frederick, as I've mentioned before, is always a hard ride but a good barometer of fitness.

We rode the ride all together, of course each climbing at different rates. It was the first time I've ever done that ride and been warm - normally I'm only out there in the winter and spring. My knee held up better than I thought it might on the steep pitches of Hamburg and Harp Hills, and after the ride we went for a "fast" 2 mile run around the pond at Frederick High School.

I was at a critical point in training now, because the summer was coming to an end, and Chicago Marathon was only a few weeks away. Could it be done? Well, certainly I could have finished it. But I wasn't going to go out there and run another slow marathon - I've already done that twice. I was beginning to dismiss the thought entirely. But another thought was gaining momentum. Would I be able to do Ironman Arizona?

I knew I would need to get my body running better, particularly on long runs. On Monday, August 23rd, I ran to Fed Hill Runners and back, so 14 miles on the day. I didn't get out to ride as much as I would have liked that week, as ultimately I went to San Diego on Thursday for the weekend. Many times when you take trips of a personal nature to visit friends, it can be tough to get out for training. This trip was probably the best training trip I've ever had. I woke up early Friday morning to swim with the Tri Club of San Diego at Solana Beach. I was definitely fearsome of sharks, as it was the same group a few years back that lost one of their members to a shark attack on the very same swim. The water was also absolutely frigid. Glad I brought my wetsuit, "for sure." The group was pretty chill, mostly an older group and pretty relaxed. Grabbed breakfast with them after, and then later in the day went for a run with Andy's high school xc team in the desert hills.

The next morning I went for a workout with Bryon, one of Andy's roommates. He's trying to get into triathlon, and would ride his bike to UCSD's track to do some workouts. I rode an old mountain bike the 10 miles with him on his road bike, we climbed through Torrey Pines, and got to the track. Once there, Bryon did some workout involving stairs and pushups and stuff, while I hit the track for a shorter workout of some 800s, 400s and 200s. Then we rode back. Sunday was going to be a big day for me - a long run with Eric. He's another Terp out in San Diego, and was running Chicago as well. He was doing 20, and I hoped to make it through 16. I didn't want to impede his workout, so I was fortunate there were a few other dudes there running about my pace. Felt good when we turned around at 8, but by 13 I was cooked. When Eric got back we had to hit Denny's HARD to restore some chemical balance (see also: Coke and some omelettes). It was a great couple of training days. Sidenote: the next week Eric ran a 1:12:10 half marathon at Disneyland, and was looking to go 2:30 at Chicago. But, like many, he did not have the best day out there.

August was now over, and it was another solid month. I ended that last week with 48 miles of running (on the heels of the 14 and 16 mile runs in the same week). For the month, it was a far cry from the volume of July, recording just 583 miles on the bike and 60,000m in the pool, but it was a good running month at 153 miles.

I was psyched though, those numbers would have been good last year for me. As a result of the two big months, I had recorded nearly 1500 miles of riding and 100 miles in the water. Pretty insane. Most importantly, I was starting to get my running back to a level that made me think, Arizona is possible. As we transitioned into September, where I planned on racing a little bit, it would become

Mission: Arizona.

(Also, sorry for the long posts, I'm sure they're a bore to read. I should have written things along the way and just saved them to post now, but back then I didn't have the desire to do it)

Getting Tough

Every so often I set up these little "Get Tough" blocks. Sometimes they last a long weekend, sometimes a week. I had always kind of did them on my own, but the naming rights belong to OJ. Usually in March of each year he'll attempt a week straight of 5000m/50mi/8mi (each day) of swim/bike/run, respectively. That's pretty big. Especially to have a 300+ mile bike week. I'm not sure what his final outcome is every year, since I don't do the whole thing with him, but even if he's coming close, that's still pretty gnarly.

In the past I've used weekends like Memorial Day, 4th of July and Labor Day to focus around big blocks. You know the weather's usually decent, there will be people to ride with and non-athletes are doing other things so the roads don't seem to be as bad. I feel like the blast of riding miles helps immensely, especially when focused and done at the right time before a goal event. I usually get in 250-300 miles over the 3 or 4 days, and then I feel like my body can "live off the fat" for a few weeks.


This year was a little bit different. Swimming was going okay, but I just wasn't able to ride or run very much. I kicked things off with 4th of July weekend. At this point, I had gone for a 4 mile run with Ed, so I felt like 4 miles was something I could do, and would stick with that distance for now. I went up to LBI for the weekend, and brought my bike. My standard LBI ride is just the length of the island and back, making it about 40 miles. During the week I was making sure I was getting in the pool for 5000m a day, and then I managed a 40 mile ride Saturday, 30 mile ride Sunday, and Fri-Sat-Sun ran 4 miles each, while on the island. I came back on Monday to ride the Loch Raven loop with Alyssa, and it was a few minutes faster than the previous time I rode it.

I thought Get Tough Week would just be that - one week. I figured I would catapult things via 4th of July weekend, then try and record training every day that next week. It was on that Thursday, July 8, that I made my return to my Thursday Night Ride up in Owings Mills. This was one of the first group workouts I had found about and gone to when I first moved here, thanks to running into Peter Bolster out on the roads. He told me about the group and since June of 2005, that's become my go-to ride during the week. I've gotten so much faster because of it.

Saturday, July 10, was a big day for me, as it marked one year since I had been hit. I had intentions of going out for a great ride, but when I woke up and saw the rain I figured I was better served not tempting fate. I took it as a sign and pushed my ride til Sunday. I thought it would be an appropriate way to "celebrate" if I put in a real big day to bring to a close my Get Tough Week. I wound up riding 84 miles - not even sure how I made it through that, honestly, and ran 4/swam 3600m.

So the results of that Get Tough Week were good. 24000m in the pool, 204 miles on the bike and 21 miles running (up from 15 the previous). I had also worked up to a 6 mile "long run."

Now I didn't want to stop. I figured I knew my body only had so many runs in it each week, and that I needed to save the efforts. I was trying to get into the habit of swimming every day so I swam that Monday (7/13) and just kept going. Get Tough Week was quickly turning into Get Tough Month. The previous week at track I managed 3x1600 @ 6:10, 6:00, 5:59, then 2x400 at 87/78 and then an 800 at 2:58. It was, to say, surprising. The next week was hills on Bellemore, which I was able to run much better up than I was down (still a big problem, as my knee/quad aren't strong enough to handle the steep downhills right now).

My goal was now to ride a little longer each week for my long ride. First week was the 84 mile version of Rocks with Alyssa, the second week was now the PA ride with Pat. We drove up to TriSpeed so that it wasn't too long of a day, but it still wound up being 94 or so miles. The ride is hard, and it was hot. But it's one of my favorite rides because of Leone Springs, nicely situated around 2.5 hours into the ride. I started chasing the Saturday long ride with another ride on Sunday. The day after the PA ride I went out with Pat, OJ and Zero for the Loch Raven loop, and was real tired. The next weekend, so now 7/24, I rode the longer version of Rocks (up to Aberdeen) with Ben W. and Alyssa. It was probably the hottest day I've ever gone out for something that long, maybe the hottest day of training ever. 96 degrees at 9:30am. Apparently got up to 106. It was a very tough ride, just under 98 miles. Chased that on Sunday with a Hunt Valley 56 mile ride the next day with OJ and Alyssa.

So now I've had three weeks of steady progress, with the last three being 204/209/221 on the bike, and 21/26/17 running. I was starting to get a little tired and knew my body needed a break.

Somehow I was pulling off decent track workouts, as in I was negative splitting intervals (never happens) and running super consistent paces. The 27th we did 800-800-1600-800-800-1600-800-800, and I was able to be 2:59, 2:56, 6:00, 2:59, 2:55, 6:00, 2:59, 2:45. I didn't have great turnover, and in general it wasn't comfortable to run at all, but I was getting through it. I figured I would eventually take a day off, so I wanted to push the volume a little bit this last week of July. 25,600m in the pool and 23 miles running were solid, and that last Saturday of the month I decided it was time to really get tough. A hearty crew consisting of Adam Z., Ben W., Zero, Pat and John Eisenhardt for a little left from the city, embarking on the PA ride. It was a weird day. Ben's spoke broke an hour in and left his wheel, to me, unrideable. But he barreled through it. Adam, who hadn't ridden more than 70 this year, and also weighs way more than any of us, struggled on York Rd. In fact, everyone started struggling as I made them ride up Jerome Jay at 90 miles into the ride. It was hot, as was the theme of the summer, and exposed. By the time we got to the top, nobody wanted to even pedal anymore. Everyone was slumped over their bars. This is where I started feeling strangely good.

That ride turned out to be 114 miles. That's a long day. With enough left in the tank for Sunday, Pat and I met OJ for a tough 45 miles in Cockeysville and chased that with my first brick workout - a 5 mile run in Loch Raven. So not only was I doing my first brick after that weekend, but was doing it on the trails.

July, as a result, turned out to be the biggest month of training I'd ever put in on the bike and swim. 101,000m in the pool (62.7 miles) and 928 miles on the bike, including the last week of 269. 94.5 miles of running. It really had been a Get Tough Month.

My takeaways from July were that 1) it was really hot. Like, scalding hot, all the time. I remember one day driving to the track with my arm out of the window and it seriously felt like it was in an oven. 2) no matter how little fitness you feel you have, if you've done it before, you can do it again. It may be dormant, but it's like a sleeping giant. Once you wake it up, it's back in full force. 3) I'd rather ride in the heat with no wind, then in any temperature with wind.

It was a great month. I managed to train every single day, even with big days and big weeks. I was looking forward to August.

The Turning Point

Moving on...

I had a little momentum going into June now, mostly in the pool, where I was getting in some decent swims. I decided since I wasn't racing, and had no goals, that I would just try and swim 5 days a week and build up my volume slowly. My knee still hurt when I did things, so I didn't want to be in a situation where I was punishing myself for no reason. I had swim weeks of 16800m, 14000m, 8000m, 19400m and 26500m. But I still wasn't running, save the 2 miles I ran with Zero down at Alyssa's Old Dominion 100 Miler. It was dark, drizzly and on the trails. I was surprised I made it. I took another 10 days off from running after that (that was June 5).

In the meanwhile, I was attempting to at least ride my bike once a week. Usually this meant riding to Fed Hill on Mondays and following the guys as they went for their run. It would turn out to be short, easy mileage. Hardly enough to call it a ride, as soft pedaling at 8-9mph doesn't really get you anywhere I've found. Still, one week I had Alex and Tank to ride with for a little bit, and another week Alex and I went along the Shady 7 route. It was embarrassing to me to try and feel good about doing that little, as never in a million years would I have thought 14 mile in 75min rides would take that much out of me.

June 15 was a bit of a breakthrough day. Two days prior I had watched most of my friends suffer at Eagleman. I felt like it was about time I started running. I did one mile on the track, and it felt uncomfortable at best. My splits were 1:54.3, 1:46.8, 1:40.5, 1:33.2 = 6:54.8. Seeing as I had run that one mile race just over a month ago at 6:15, I was surprised it was that hard for me.

Then came the day that really got me back. It was Monday, June 21. I had gone home to visit my dad for Father's Day for the weekend, but due to oppressive heat we didn't get out on Saturday or Sunday. Monday evening, after it had cooled down a bit, he and I headed out to Sandy Hook for a little bike ride. The Hook is a cool place, albeit unforgiving at times. It usually has a very strong directional wind, and during the summer is filled with BENNYs - but some summer nights during the week aren't bad and this was one of the better nights. It's a little over 6 miles end to end, so we rode out and back and did a small loop twice. It was 13 miles and took us an hour and one minute.

During the ride my dad suggested that I "take off" or "do some sprints" or something - which I scoffed at and said "what's the point?" I told him the purpose was to ride together, although I know he was just saying it to hopefully ignite something for me to start thinking, perhaps, like an athlete again. When we got back to the car, the ocean looked inviting, and I happened to have my goggles in the car. I told him I was going to just jump in for a minute. It was now about 8pm, so there was still light, being about the longest day of the year, and the beach was surprisingly crowded. I maybe swam 400m - definitely wasn't in the water any more than 10 minutes. The current was strong so I swam close to the shoreline. The water was as clear as I've ever seen it in NJ and the temperature was awesome.

I came out of the water and felt exhilarated. 2 out of 3 ain't bad, I thought, but maybe I can get my little sister to run with me when we get home. It was now about 9pm, so it was dark, and I made her go run to the end of the neighborhood and back. It was probably 1.75 miles, but I didn't care. On this day, I had "done" all 3 sports again. Now I was determined to not look back.

The next day I got back to Baltimore and headed to the track. I did an 800m warmup in 3:22, and then was going to do 1600m as hard as I could run. This week was much better than last, with my splits at 1:28.3, 1:29.4, 1:28.3, 1:27.1 = 5:53.1.

That was a Tuesday. On Wednesday I would face my first significant challenge: back on the bike, on a real actual road ride. I met Alyssa at Oregon Ridge Park just around 5:30pm, and we were going to do the Wednesday Night Ride. It's a 30 mile figure 8-ish in hilly north Baltimore County. Knowing that the organized (and also super fast) ride started at 6, my goal was to not get beat by them. They usually ride just over 1h20m, and I didn't know how long it would take us, but we didn't start til 5:50 I think. It was going to be close.

I hadn't been on a road ride since at least November, when I made it out two or three times to Gunpowder. After that, a lot changed. Jordan Rapp, professional triathlete and winner of IM Canada and IM Arizona last year, was hit by a car while on a training ride in California. It was almost identical to my accident, although due to him going through glass, he was in much worse shape than I was. Shortly after, two guys I would ride with on my Thursday Night Ride, Larry and Joel, were riding together on Falls Road up at Butler Road when an older lady driver hit the two of them. Joel would make it, not without some serious damage, but Larry did not.

Whether drivers like it or not, there are more people riding bikes nowadays. Some for competition, some for fitness, some just to get places because any other way is too expensive and it's more earth-conscious. Meanwhile, roads are more and more congested with drivers, who are on the phone and texting, and shoot just too old to be driving. With these instances fresh in my head, I did not want to ride anymore. You can say the same, but until you've gone through it, you can't understand the fear in the same fashion. It fucking hurts. A lot. And it ruins every ride you go on after that.

Back to the ride with Alyssa, though, and as soon as you start the ride you go uphill for a mile and change. My heart rate was through the roof. Once I settled in I felt like we were riding okay, but since I haven't had a computer on my bike in a few years, I had no concept of speed or distance. Was just out to pound my brains in and maybe feel alive again. At this time I also had the rush of "I don't want OJ to catch me and then make fun of me for riding so slow," so I was going as fast as my legs would allow. Somehow we managed to stay in front of them and rode the ride in a little under 1h50m. I found out later that the usual group of speedsters didn't show up, and someone had a mechanical, which kept them at bay. But hey, I made it. 30 miles.

Definitely too soon to say I was "back" but it was a great start.

I was keeping my runs to less than 2 miles for now, but that Saturday, just a few days after the 30 miles, I was determined to make it through my old Loch Raven 48 mile loop. The first half felt fine, but by the time I made it up and out of LR, and then still had to go up Bellemore, I was cooked.

The next Tuesday was another 1600m on the track. I was already feeling a bit better about running, and my splits showed it: 1:24.3, 1:24.4, 1:24.3, 1:23.8 = 5:36.8. The day after I did the Oregon Ridge ride again with Alyssa and we were 3 minutes faster than last week. I ended June on a positive note with that ride, and the month totals looked like:

71,800m swimming (pretty sure this was the most I've ever swam in a month)
204 miles on the bike
18 miles of running

I went from riding 0 miles to being able to ride 48 miles. I remember when 48 miles was a long ride for me. I remember Tom Stott and I riding to DC, bonking, him stealing Snickers bars from a Giant in Bethesda, getting lost and that ride being 42 miles. That was 2001.

I went from running a 6:55 mile to being able to run a 5:36 in just 14 days on almost no running. I remember being a freshman in high school working real hard to run a 5:27.

While it may have seemed insignificant at the time, and certainly doesn't mean anything to anyone other than myself, I'll look at that 13 mile bike ride with my dad as the turning point for getting myself back together a little bit. As of right now it's been 129 days since June 21, and I haven't missed a single day of training. So thanks, dad, even though you don't read this, for the little boost.

Ides of March

Continuing along as I said I would, a brief update with January to March 15, and then maybe a little beyond.

By the last time I had posted, somewhere around January 6th I think, I was able to run a little bit. My knee hurt every single stride of every run, as my range of motion was tremendously restricted. It didn't help that it was very cold all the time. I would run every couple of days, and by mid January had worked up to a 6 mile run, including one night keeping up with the gang at Fed Hill. It nearly killed me, but I did it. I was following the protocol at physical therapy, but there didn't seem to be much, or any, improvement. I was swimming as much as I could handle, and was cycling indoors on the trainer a few times each week. Tuesdays and Thursdays it would be me, Pat and Alyssa on trainers in the basement for 75-90 minutes, and I think I even went outside once or twice. (Note: most days it did not feel any better to ride).

Simultaneously, inspired by Ben's original 2k10 mission (A Year of Deconsumption), I attempted to cut out a few things myself. Unlike Ben, however, I succeeded at whatever I put my mind to. First up was no Coke or alcohol in January. The Coke was the harder of the two. February was "Facebook-free February," which was actually not that hard, but I also couldn't make comments about girls (e.g., oh man that chick is so hot, did you see her hammers, etc). That was very challenging, but I did it. In March I decided my goal would be to read 3 books, which I did. Then I realized I proved my point and stopped doing it, mostly because I felt I had done everything that would have posed a significant challenge. Sorry for the sidebar topic.

Our 2nd annual trip to Miami came at the end of January, and while I had been intending on running the 5k on Saturday, two weeks before we left I knew something was not right and I just stopped running. I was still going to Fed Hill, and would typically walk into the Inner Harbor and try and pick up the group for their last 4 miles in. So running once a week, I decided no 5k for me. It was nice to see everyone go by at mile 5 - our hotel's front door was exactly the mile 5 marker. Of course I don't think anybody who ran that day enjoyed it, but that's what happens when you go out hard before races, and also why we don't take Miami very seriously.

January Totals: 58,700m swimming, 210 miles cycling, 38.75 miles running.

Onto February, and this was a tough month for no reason other than the massive amount of snowfall. My knee was not very stable, so walking around was truly difficult, and because my car was snowed into the garage for THREE WEEKS, I was pretty much trapped. I had to walk to PT 3 days a week, and relied on other people for rides if I had to get somewhere. I had just acquired a car, and now couldn't even use it. I decided I would stop running altogether, for safety's sake and also because it was not comfortable. I got to the pool as much as I could, but they were closed a bunch of days/it was too hard for me to get there, and I was riding still up to 3 times per week, all inside.

Then I went up to see my surgeon again, and the decision was made to have another surgery, because something just wasn't right. If I felt like graphing my training numbers, you would see a low, steady volume then a complete drop to zero for all things. No more riding. No more swimming. I finished the month with just 33,600m swimming, 185 miles cycling and 0 miles running.

Surgery was set now for March 15th - great omen, right? Beware the Ides of March. I wound up taking a spur of the moment trip to Amsterdam at the beginning of March to visit with Sgrizzi and Thais, see them one last time before their baby arrived. After I got back, it was a crazy little week that involved driving to NJ for a visit with the legal team/the deposition, back to Baltimore to spectate the Shamrock 5k, dropping someone off in DC followed by immediately going back UP to New Jersey, for surgery the next morning. After surgery I thought I'd be able to be back in Baltimore by Wednesday for St. Patrick's Day (a favorite Baltimore holiday) but I still couldn't drive. I wound up being just barely able to do it by the weekend, so I drove down to DC and was able to catch Brennan (and Dusty, Diane, Zero, Nina and Terence) run in the National Half.

Right after getting cut up again, I felt awesome. And no, it wasn't just the medication. My knee felt more mobile than it had been, which was great. The corrective procedure seemed to free up my knee a little. Of course, it's not just "cut open, seal up and go." I'd at this point been going to physical therapy for 9 months. 3 days a week. That's a lot of time. It was also at this point that my physical therapist seemed to have hit the wall. His attitude was worse than mine, I think - and I don't think the injured patient should have to be the one trying to pump up the therapist. I was going to PT but really just going to go. I was getting nothing out of it. Either I needed to go somewhere new, or stop going altogether.

Anyone who was around me or saw me between the months of January and March can attest that I was a mess. My mental state was in all sorts of disarray, and it was thanks to the help of friends and family that I was able to make it through that time. Most days I didn't even want to wake up, and normally I just power through everything. I hated life, and really didn't care what happened to myself.

Totals for March were a whopping 4000m of swimming and 15 miles on the bike.

April was a new month, but I still wasn't ready to do anything yet. Looking back now, after what I've been doing, I can't believe I was able to go that long recording training zeros. 5 straight weeks without so much as lifting a finger. And even then, my first "session" was a short swim, then I took off again. I guess during this time I was keeping myself busy, as everyone in the DC/MD/PA areas would have seen me outfitted with my camera at just about every road race there was. I think I just passed the 50 race mark of races I've spectated since getting hurt. I took some great pictures with the awesome camera, and most of those can be found with hilarious captions on FB.

Training for me at this point was not really training. I didn't care what I did, so if I took 4 or 5 days off in a row, it really didn't matter to me. I had no fitness, no strength, so I wasn't able to lose any more of it by taking off. However, when Justin asked if I wanted to run one day (Big J's been hurt since a week after I got hurt last year), I obliged. We ran 2 miles on the track in the form of 8x400. I was able to run them in just under 2 minutes a piece, with about a minute rest. I think I worked down to just under 90sec on my last one? Felt like I was going to explode from the lack of aerobic fortitude. Hopefully this paints a picture of my fitness for you. I had not run a single step in 3 months.

April was another banner month, at 15,700m swimming, 0 miles on the bike and 2 miles of running.

Onto May, and honestly I would not have run at all in May had it not been for the 2nd annual Alumni Mile at the University of Maryland's Twilight Meet. The 2009 edition was a great event, with a solid turnout. 2010 was a much different year. Apparently I went to school with the hugest bunch of pussies ever, because everyone had an excuse as to why they couldn't show up on a Thursday night and run one mile. The excuse "I'm not in shape" is not an rmcgrath approved excuse to not do something. The correct answer is, you're in the shape you're in to do whatever you're able to do. I hate to pull the "if I can do it card," but seriously, if I can run one mile, you can run one mile. There were only 3 people that were going to do the race, and they weren't even going to hold it as a result. I said I would do it, to ensure the legacy of this fine little race. The end result was that I got toasted, but I ran a 6:15 full mile. I've never felt burning like that before in my life.

I'm pretty sure I received a number of sympathy claps for running a slow high school girl's time, and even Edmund Burke came up to me after and said it looked like I was limping/favoring one side. I explained why that was the case and he was all "oh, well that explains it."

Following that amazing comeback race I felt like Michael Jordan. I had retired, came back for one moment of glory, and then retired again. Maybe it was time to focus my talents and energy somewhere else, on something else. I went into hiding once more, not running for another month. At this point I had gotten back into the pool on a more consistent basis, and despite being deathly afraid to go outside on my bike (another post will be reserved for why), I finally got back on it on Sunday, May 30th, for 7 miles - which was really just riding my bike around town I think. I chased that with 14 the next day, following the guys as they ran at FHR. May's totals ended up being 51,200m in the pool, 21 miles on the bike and 1 singular mile of running.

I was disappointed that I had to bail on Columbia Triathlon in May. I had signed up last year and thought there would be a chance I could do it, but following that second surgery there was obviously no way. I wasn't able to get any money back for that one so I still went to pick up my number. 69. Dammit. That would have been so awesome. Eagleman, fortunately, has a pretty nice refund policy (surprising given the race organization), so I was able to drop out and get most of my money back. These two races couldn't have been more polar of opposites. Columbia was its typical rainy/not warm, but just a few weeks later, Eagleman 2k10 looked a lot like Eagleman 2k8. Water temp was too warm for wetsuits, and that set up the massive sufferfest that is this half ironman in Cambridge. I was no longer upset that I couldn't do that one.

Meanwhile, I had also signed up for Chicago Marathon on 10/10/10, as most everyone else around here did, and knew that I would need to be able to comfortably run at least 30 miles per week by June to feel like I could run it. Since I had only run 3 miles since February, that was clearly not going to happen. I felt like I made the right decision for my body, waiting a little longer to really start attempting to run, but it was a long time of not running. My surgeon had never restricted what I could do, it was always more on the principle of "see how you feel and listen to your body." Obviously I wasn't going to go jump out for a 12 mile run (even if I could have done it, which I couldn't). But he didn't say I couldn't run. We discussed and I said I would wait a few months after the 2nd surgery and he said that was fine.

So that's what I did.

At this point I'm almost halfway into the year with 40 miles of running, about 100 miles of swimming and maybe 400 miles on the bike.

But things were about to change, and that will be for the next post since I feel like this one is too long already.

A New Beginning

Forgive me, Flying Spaghetti Monster. It has been 9 months since my last post.

A lot has gone on, a lot has changed. I've wanted to write something on so many occasions, but it was as if I didn't know how to start. Part of it has been the ongoing legal situation, and the paranoia I developed as a result. Part of it was I felt like I didn't have anything to say while I wasn't training, or that nobody would care to read. I know that I tie entirely too much of my own self-worth to sport, and not being able to do anything has left me feeling inadequate, and incomplete. From there, I felt like "what's the point?"

My intention for this blog, moving forward, is to be more positive. I've experienced some pretty harsh lows in the last 16 months, so I've got to think things can only get better. I will write about my training, not because anyone actually gives a shit what I'm doing - but rather to show how I got from where I was to where I am now. I'm hoping that, at the very least, it can serve as a motivator to everyone who is injured. It can help them realize that within every competitor is the ability to become fit again. Fitness may lie dormant, but if you've done it before, you can do it again. The only limiter is you. You have to ask yourself, how bad do I want it? Goals have to start smaller.

It has been 122 days since I last took a day off from training. Alyssa pointed out a quote from the NYTimes article on Elite Athletes Pushing Through Pain that accurately sums up my school of thought:

"I was given a body that could train every single day. And a mind, a mentality, that believed if I trained every day - and I could train every day - I'll beat you." ~ Tom Fleming

I'm not going to kid myself and say that I'm an elite athlete, or that I have the capability of winning, well, just about anything. But I know that as long as I have a body that is capable of pushing through (incredible) pain, and is physically capable of training every day - that it's a waste of what I've been given if I don't. I'm not saying I'm against days off, I just don't feel like I need one right now. Take a year off from running or riding a bike and you'll know what I mean.

While my life in triathlon started many, many years ago, my technical journey to reach the Ironman (see also: I paid an entry fee) began 23 months ago. It was a Monday, the day after Ironman Arizona. Zero and I were online at 2pm trying to register ourselves on Active.com. He got through first, but I was still not getting through. Finally, he got through again and registered for me. We were both really psyched that we were going to get to do this race together. 2009 started off pretty well, with Z recording PRs in every distance from 5k to the marathon, and showing improvement on the swimming, bike and running off the bike. For me, I knew exactly where my fitness was, and with a much better Eagleman under my belt, felt that Arizona was going to be my day.

We all know what happened next.

As I went through my shitty stages of being angry all the time, depressed, unmotivated and in physical agony, I still had enough in the tank to at least get out to Arizona for the swim. WTC wasn't going to get my $575 for doing nothing for me, the least I could do was swim and eat some pizza afterwards. Hell, I paid for it. And while I was out there (and probably there are some who still don't know this), I signed up again for this year. My thought at the time was I'm going to be totally fine a year from today, I'll be good. I had already signed up for races like Columbia and Eagleman, and in February (after my last post), I signed up for the Chicago Marathon.

While things didn't turn out as planned, I sit here today with the same goal I had two years ago - to finish what I started. I don't believe that a person needs to do an Ironman to call themselves a triathlete, or that you need to do one to validate yourself. Race whatever you feel like racing. I was just commenting on how much respect I have for short course specialists like Hunter Kemper that, despite getting older, don't jump into longer races "just because." He's mad old now and has been racing for what seems like forever, and he's still competitive. If he still gets his kicks from that type of racing, good for him.

So, like I said, I'm welcoming a fresh start. It's a new day. I have unfortunate daily reminders of my physical limitations, but thankfully I'm too stupid to realize that and the result is pushing through the pain. I'm fueled by competition and desire. I had always thought of myself as being invicible, and it was really important to me that I was perceived that way by others. There have been many incidents in the past few months that have illustrated our own precious mortality, but I'm also finding that letting fear rule your life is pointless. You have to get back on that "carbon steed" (to quote Craig Hummer) sooner or later.

This is just the beginning. The beginning of a multi-chapter story that is still being written. Kind of like a Choose Your Own Adventure book, the ending is up to me, or, to any of us. My next few posts will shed some light on the earlier part of the year, my second surgery, the day that changed it all and where I'm going from here.

For now, just a quick thanks to the people I have in my corner. I wouldn't be back to this point without any of you, and seeing your success has made me happier than if it were my own.